Not what I had expected....

I will be the first to admit that my that my first wedding and marriage was not traditional at all. I always thought that I was doing the right thing. I constantly compair the choices that I made years ago to the decisions that I'm making now. I have had my doubts only because of the results of my last marriage. Am I making the same mistake? I finally have a solid answer to that question.

I had my bachlorette party last night and Michael's bachlor party is tonight. I didn't do anything like this before my first wedding. I couldn't go out to party or drink because I was only 19 and pregnant. I didn't know exactly what my feelings would be this go round. I had heard of these parties breaking up relationships right before the wedding. The only thing that this had really shown me is that I don't function without him. I have truly found the person that I'm meant to be with. Because of different situations we haven't really spoken but for one hour since this past Thursday. I miss him! I can't wait to wake up and see his face every morning and he is who I want to cuddle up with to go to sleep at night. He is my other half. The person that makes me whole.

The count down....

We are 15 days away from the wedding. I'm excited about finally being married to Michael...stressed as hell about the wedding itself. It has so taken on a life of it's own. I really can't wait for the stressful part to be over with. I really just wanted a relaxing time to come together w/ friends and family. No drama...no weirdness...no greed! Worrying about not having enough food because people have started inviting other people or bringing as much family of theirs as they want. It's driving me insane and I really don't have the money for what it's turning into.

Michael said to me the other day that we should have just eloped...I'm beginning to think that he is right. However, I didn't want to take the whole wedding thing away from him. He has never been married. My family up north (aka my good family) were talking about how excited they were about coming down for the wedding! They haven't been "down" in years!

I think that I'm starting to loose site of what this really is meant to be. Instead it's feeling more like a three ringed circus...or maybe even a boxing match! (In this corner we have.....)

*sigh*

Thoughts....

I realized the other day that I have a blog that I never use...LOL! It's not that I don't have anything to say...most of the time I just don't know how to say it. I'm getting married in a little more than a month. I'm very excited about it and am happier than I have been in years. I was married before but it so didn't feel like this. There is a difference between the two that is very obvious to me. It feels like my life is finally starting. I feel like I belong where I am for once.

Well hopefully I'll remember that my blog is here and maybe I'll post some pics of the wedding. I don't know....we'll see!