words to live by....

Keep away from people who try to belittle your ambitions. Small people always do that, but the really great make you feel that you, too, can become great.

Mark Twain

Scare....

Well I actually made myself go to the doctors today....no not the doc that you are thinking of...I had my eyes checked. It's usually uneventful and just a technicality to get my latest (bad) prescription. Well today wasn't as uneventful as I would have liked. They did the normal by dilating my eyes...the last time they saw a few spots but didn't say anything. This time I don't know if they were more prominent or what but it was brought up. They can be the beginning of what's called macrodegeritive eye disease. Well believe it or not I had heard of this before and not in my medical terms classes. My grandmother (mom's mom) had it...basically it takes you vision. She had just gotten a car about 6 mos previously but couldn't drive it anymore...her sight was just too bad. I started to panic...I'm only 31...Does this mean that I will have a specific amount of years to see and then I will be blind? Thanks goodness no. The spots that I have sometimes are something that runs in the family...I found out later today that my youngest daughter has them too. The doctor said that it is possible that nothing ever becomes of the spots....but with the disease in the family it does need to be watched. So hopefully I have dodged a bullet but it really makes you think about things. What would I do if I couldn't see? There are places that I want to go just to see the countryside...I wouldn't be able to. And what about photography...something that I love but am too scared to hear someone elses opinion on my work. (even to the point that I won't take classes to learn more about it) Maybe I need to change things...there is no guarantee that it won't turn into that later. Will I have a lot of regret or will I be like, "Ok...I've seen all that I want too"

Just things...

I've been trying to throw out junk around the house. So far all I have done is thrown out half of the mountain of paper in this computer room, but even that was hard. Between my half brother and my ex...I have to keep every little receipt known to man! It drives me crazy! I've also attempted to get rid of things that are just taking up space. This is even harder. Small things that people may think are junk I have some strange attachment to them....like why can't I throw out a picture of an ex boyfriend that I don't really care to remember!

Yesterday, I looked next door to the empty house...my neighbours filed bankruptcy and lost their house. They took the majority of there things but they did leave things behind. How do you do that? And if they mean that little to you...why did you spend money on them in the 1st place. Anyhow...the picture is of the overgrown stairs next door. I just think that it's sad.